Ekene Onu On ‘The Mrs Club’

“You see in the African community, age is definitely not on a woman’s side. When you are about 22, you are put in the front window and are marked for sale. Then when you are about 26, they mark you 50% off, 75% off when you are 28 and then when you are 30, the sign is changed to say:”ALL GOODS MUST GO!”"
- Excerpt from the book, “The Mrs Club”.

The ‘Mrs. Club’ often seems to be the most difficult club for many single women to get into. Time like a ticking bomb often dictates how fast you can get into the club with the different mark down price fixed on its entrance. It seems that the closer African women get into their thirties - the more desperate they become and for those that get married, the harder it is for them to remain within their marriages.

Ekene Onu uses her book, “The Mrs. Club” to address the frustration, anger and humiliation that occurs often times with the marriage. She fuses humor in her write up as she tells the story of Titi, Mina and Amaka - all successful, Nigerian American friends who like the sister hood that exists in the African American Movie, ‘Waiting To Exhale’, have a similar story to tell. Their stories are those of heartbreak from cheating spouses and significant others, but most of all, a story of secrets. Secrets that made them into the successful trio they are but secrets that will ultimately take everything that they have garnered away from them.

“The Mrs. Club” is definitely a book that you cannot put down once you start reading it. Ekene Onu has been open enough to grant us an interview. Enjoy the read.

Who is Ekene Onu?

That question makes me smile because it reminds me of those “slum” books that used to circulate around during secondary school…Well, I am many things, not the least of which is complicated and I don’t know that I can sum myself up in a few words.

What situations informed your decision to write this book?

Well, I have always wanted to write a book and I have always been passionate about presenting a voice for the contemporary African woman so I guess The Mrs Club was borne out of those desires.

The content of the story came about as a result of conversations I had or listened to, stories I heard about women who were doing crazy things in their bid to find a man and the fact that the divorce rate seems to be on the rise among Africans.

Are all characters of the book fictional?

Yes, completely so, though elements of certain characters may seem familiar, no character is an exact match of any person living or dead. My lawyer is looking over my shoulder…but it is true, no character is real, they are all composites.

The book seems to be geared towards primarily middle and upper class Nigerians - was that your original intention?

No but then again, I don’t know that my book is anymore geared towards the middle and upper class than any book. I think my intention was to gear it towards anyone who is literate and I actually think I accomplished that goal. It is a story about middle class Nigerians in the diaspora but I think anyone can relate to it. As a matter of fact I had two girls read it over the Christmas holiday and neither of them are what you would call middle class but they both professed to enjoy and relate to the book.

In the book, the underlying theme that I could read was that of desperation amongst Nigerian single women - were you trying to address that issue in your book?

Yes I was. I got married at twenty nine and I swear I heard a sigh of relief from certain members of my extended family. The pressure that our women receive from family and society is ridiculous. It pushes otherwise sane and savvy women to a point of desperation and insanity. I had heard one too many stories about educated, professional women putting themselves in crazy positions in their bid to secure a man, so I decided to write about it. Enough is enough, we as women have to reclaim our power again. Yes being married can be heaven, (or hell for that matter) but this issue is not our marital status but our state of being.

In the book, you had three main successful characters and they were: Titi, Mina and Amaka - which do you identify most with? Why?

I identify with them all at different times and for different reasons. Amaka is like me, a romantic and at one time I was that naïve. Titi and I share a knack for calling it like we see it – well sometimes anyway and Mina, well I know a thing or two about wearing a mask and as a dear friend puts it giving that cocktail laugh to hide who you really are.

Your book also seems to have a religious theme to it- was that based on your religious observations?

Well…I am a Christian and I think the best writing comes from your heart so it was inevitable that some of my truth would shine through, but also Nigerians are very religious people, there isn’t a person in Naija who in a week hasn’t uttered God dey, I’m sure, so it was a natural evolution to the story. When things get really tough for us, we turn to God and in many cases we can testify to His answering.

Your characters seem to have some difficulties straddling their Nigerian culture and their American culture - Is that a struggle that you have faced as an immigrant? If yes, how did you resolve it?

It is my reality, but I don’t consider it a struggle. I call it cultural schizophrenia, or Multiple accent disorder. For me, I have been in the US almost twenty years and I have learnt to move fluidly between cultures and subcultures. When I am in an African American enclave in Atlanta I notice my speech includes a little more ebonics with a twang, catch me in Boston at a health conference and it’s all clipped P and enunciation, yet again in New York with the Britico Nigerian set and it’s all about the fake Phone (Naija’s know what I am talking about) and yet with the Nsukka set, it’s ‘Nna men’ and ‘O kwa ya’. I am literally a cultural chameleon but at the end I am still myself. My true voice is the one you hear when I am with family. My husband and my daughter, my siblings and my parents, everything else, well that’s life.

Chick Lit has existed for quite some time now - apart from the characters in your book being Nigerian, what else will you say differentiates your novels from other Chick Lit out there?

Not a lot, but my book doesn’t have the typical happy ending. I love chick lit and I think at its best it touches the heart while it makes you laugh.

What message do you want readers to take from your book?

That each of us is wonderful, beautiful and complete, whether coupled off or not.

What advice will you give to single women out there?

Enjoy your life and be present to your situation. There are so many wonderful things about being single. Go to Paris, visit Tibet, go white water rafting, learn how to make edikaikong, sing in the shower, prance about naked, take an awesome job on the other side of the world and thank God you don’t have to worry about how it will affect your significant other. Love yourself and love life and if love comes, love the love.

In reality, is there really a cut of age for women?

Is there a cut off age for living? I don’t believe so. Love is so wonderful and unpredictable and it’s available at any time.

How did the book deal come about?

I made it happen. I am publishing The Mrs Club independently and while I have had some offers, for now I am making it happen on my own and you know what I am loving every minute of it. I have long held the belief that you can make your own dreams come true and now I can say I am living my dreams.

Who is your favorite Chick Lit author?

I can’t choose…just…one.

Do you have any other book in the pipe line?

Yes…way down in the pipeline.

If yes, what themes will you be dealing with in that book and when can we expect it?

Ah, pressure already…Well I can’t really say, it’s still in the evolution phase but it will be about issues that pertain to women like us, so lets see we have tackled wanting to be married, what’s next?

When I say African Woman - what words come to your mind?

Me, myself and I. Well I guess that’s not a serious answer and I am racking myself for something profound to say, but I guess beautiful, loving and filled with potential.

Extra:

The book was so good that I could not put it down even during my religious service. Ekene Onu will be interviewed on sarfmradio.com on Saturday(march 22), 3pm. If you have any questions for her,pls do not hesitate to send them to pamelastitch@yahoo.com and I will definitely get your answers. You can get that book from amazon.com or the mrsclub.com website.

Update: Pamela interviews the author on radio: