News, Commentary & Social Media from African Perspective

Erasing the African Identity

In a recent BBC debate “The good, bad and ugly hair days” (African Manes), a documentary examining the culture of African hair, I read a troubling comment that:

“In Africa, the preferred look seems to be straightened hair over natural, kinky hair. Natural hair wearers are perceived as being deliberately non-conformist or religious.”

Wait a minute! Why the stereotypical perception on going natural? What is so wrong with the natural African look? It is obvious the ideal of beauty in most African countries has changed, and continues to change by the season. The typical African has dark ebony skin, big brown eyes, big lips and a short nose but not anymore! Many are going Western!

My fear is if we Africans continue to view things through the ‘Western eye’, our unique African identity will vanish totally. From our hair, language, and even our music, all of those things that make up ‘the African identity’ are undergoing drastic modification into Western stereotype. It’s like Africans are ashamed of their indigenous identity — and the only way to cover-up the shame is to wear that foreign identity even if it is ill-fitting. No doubt, the rich and buoyant African culture is going extinct!

Language –Do you know English language, the ready-made weapon of British-American cultural imperialism, is gradually replacing indigenous African languages, even in our homes? A fab example is Yoruba, a native tongue of approximately 28 million people, spoken in South-western Nigeria. Yoruba is slowly turning into the new Latin – a dead language. Why? Because it is not being passed on oncoming generations. Check this out:

A lady raised in Lagos, born to a Yoruba-speaking couple, surrounded by Yoruba-speaking relatives and friends, and has never lived anywhere else but Lagos, but guess what? She doesn’t speak or understand one word of Yoruba. When I first met this babe I was convinced she was just being a “wannabe”; posing by not speaking Yoruba, but after getting to know her I realized she wasn’t faking it, it was for real -– flawless English but no word of Yoruba. Can you believe that!

Now tell me how would she pass on the Yoruba language to her children if she doesn’t speak it? Yoruba is already killed and buried in her linage– killed and replaced by English. As Toyin Falola identified in her article “Death of Yoruba Language” this scenario can be explained as follows:

The greatest tragedy in Yorubaland today is the parents’ dominating trend to speak only English to their children, making it their first language, then sending them to private nursery school, who only teach in English and causing Yoruba children to value English above their language!

Music — Have you listened to African music lately? Their beats and lyrics are borrowed from the American hip-hop culture of disrespecting women and cursing in every other sentence — a display that is inherently contradictory to the African culture founded on respect. The most annoying part is when their videos imitate American artists like Lil Wayne, Snoop and 50 cents with the sagging pants and blin’ blin’. These “copycats” even film their music videos in America or Europe. At the end, music, a potent means of showcasing the African culture, is lost and replaced with the worst of the western culture.

Dressing — The cultural influence does not end there. What about our dressing? We all know the way a person dresses is a form of identity, and in some cases should be a reflection of their culture. Only a colonized mind will say that the western dressing style is more superior to the African style. Western style has its own assembly and African attires have their own too so why compare?

An incident at the Kenyan parliament in 2004 speaks volumes to our dress sense. The dress code required male members to wear suits and ties and legislators not ‘properly dressed’ would be thrown out of the House. And when some Kenyan Members of the Parliaments tested the rule — by wearing the Nigerian “agbada” robes — they were thrown out!

Hair — They say hair is the crown of a woman and I know one African woman that has taken that literarily – yeah you got it – First Lady Chantal Biya. Anyway she is not the focus of this article so I wouldn’t go there. Do you know what African women go through to get longer, smoother, shinier, straighter “good” hair? At least four times a year, an average African woman applies chemical relaxers to her hair to achieve that goal and spends anything between 10 – 45 minutes in excruciating pain with the relaxer burning her scalp. The general notion is that the more it burns the better it works.

Some African women started using this “creamy crack” (the American slang for relaxers) at the early age of 4. Yes! That is ridiculously young! Why do African woman put themselves through so much pain? Is it for the African men? Are dark, curvy, kinky-headed women no longer aesthetically pleasing to African men because they don’t resemble the “women” they see on TV? Some women claim they use the creamy crack because it makes styling their hair easier than the painful torture of combing the kinky bushy hair. Let’s suppose that argument justifies the use of relaxers, but what about women who spend tons of money on weave-on or hair extensions? What is their argument? Are they trying to look more European? Do we use weave-ons and extension because we are adopting the Western definition of beauty?

Skin –The most dangerous trend in West and Central African countries is skin bleaching. The procedure of women going from dark skinned to lighter skin is detrimental to the health, but some African women still chose to do it anyway. The damage is equivalent to sunbathing without sunscreen because these lightening creams slowly destroys all the melanin in black skin, making it more prone to skin cancer. One might ask why bother knowing all the risks associated with it? Why would African women use such extreme measures to become light-skinned? Are they ashamed of their black identity? Or is it because they want to be accepted? Or do they feel that being light skinned makes them more attractive?

If anyone can answer these million-dollar questions I would love to hear them. What are your thoughts on these issues?

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36 comment(s)

  1. pammy | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    I will like to say that it will be great if we changed the word typical to accepted look of the African being that. Obviously, there are authentic Africans who do not have this ‘typical’ look.

  2. pammy | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    But I do agree, a lot of Africans have lost it when it comes to their language, culture and their hair. I have never been the patient one when it comes to beauty and pain. So when women talk about perms that hurt, and braids that take hours to do – I often give them a blank look!! :-D ! Definitely not me! :-D !

  3. Ajibola | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    This statement really jumped out at me…”The typical African has dark ebony skin, big brown eyes, big lips and a short nose but not anymore! Many are going Western!” This is so untrue. That typical African look is a stereotype that Africans all over the world have been tricked into believing. There is NO typical African look and NO typical African.

    African women are not alone in bleaching their skin. Men are doing it too (at least in Nigeria) and other parts of the world, including North America.

    And forget about blaming American hip hop culture for causing men to disrespect women. Everyone makes choices and pays the consequences. If African artists choose to emulate the beastly side of hip hop culture, then that’s what inside of them from the start. I don’t find African men particularly respectful towards women in general. This has nothing to do with hip hop culture.

    I hope to God that Yoruba really does not go the way of Latin. Yoruba is such a colorful, beautiful language. Yoruba parents must be taught the value of making Yoruba language and culture a norm in their households. It’s fine to speak English but it should never supersede the native language.

  4. Misi Coker | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    @Ajibola, great points. I totally agree with you on some African men being disrespectful and bleaching their skin and also on the point of Yoruba becoming extinct, but how do fix this problem?
    To you and Pam, don’t most full Africans, except North Africans, have ebony skin, big brown eyes, lips and short noses? Most Africans who don’t fit that description are usually mixed race – trace their roots:-)
    @Pamela – your hair is natural? Kudos, I am guilty of the hair thing myself – otherwise I will look like a golliwog:-)

  5. Ajibola | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    @Misi Coker. Thank you. Fixing the Yoruba thing is not so difficult. It must start with the parents at home. I guess the parents need to be re-educated and reminded of who they are. What is a full African? Africa (let’s exclude North Africa for all intents and purposes, although there are some people indigenous to North Africa who are as dark as these letters with straight noses that we should not assume came from mixing with Europeans or other ethnicities) south of the Sahara has many ethnicities with different features. Even excluding North AFrica, the rest of Africa is still huge. I think that most people don’t have ‘ebony’ skin, big brown eyes, big lips and short noses. I know too many ‘full’ Africans who don’t fit this description at all.

  6. Pammy | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    Misi: Not neccesarily. Afterall, we have Nigerians from certain region of Nigeria, that definitely do not fit the dark skinned profile.

  7. pammy | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    Dark skinned / light skinned depends on the amount of melanin you have and some environmental factors.

    I personally feel uncomfortable with your use of the term – Gollywog. Your whole article had the theme of African self hatred, which is that basically, Africans hate themselves and that is the reason they are choosing an alternate way of presenting themselves by acquiring a more European look but on the other hand you describe yourself as looking like a Gollywog, if you decide to carry your hair natural. Very confusing!

    Personally, on the hair thing, I think it is more out of laziness than really accepting European ideals that make black people do the whole perming ritual. To do the natural hair thing, you have to really study your hair, know your hair, know your environment, know what works and doesn’t and be ready to learn how to mix. The natural hair world is a different world. Beyond, all that by choosing to go natural, some are saying, I choose to be an individual, i.e ME rather than a clone/ other people around me. Natural hair is individuality. I am blessed that I work in a world where natural hair is okay. For some it isn’t.

    Of course, natural hair is not for everyone. My sister and cousins all perm their hair, I am considered as being the weird one for choosing to carry my hair the way I do but fortunately, I come from a family in which difference/ eccentricity is accepted.

    On the language thing: I looked through the website, had issues with a couple of things that the author wrote there but decided that she was very misinformed and was probably looking through cloudy lens to bother putting up a comment. But, I do agree with this point of hers though which is this: a lot of Africans beyond Yorubas are loosing their links to their culture and it is up to parents to ensure their children have roots.

  8. Ajibola | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    @Pammy. I agree with you. I know people in Nigeria who definitely do not fit the ‘full’ African profile and they have no more ancestral mixtures than anyone else. Some people have such strong genes that their ancestral mixtures, if any, are not evident. @Misi Coker and EVERYONE…some African woman (not only in Ethiopia, Eritrea, Somalia) have the type of hair that some Americans, especially African-Americans, call ‘good’ hair. All that means is that the hair is not kinky and it usually grows long. Why do we always associate this type of hair with Europeans. Africans are varied like the planets in the solar system.

  9. pammy | Nov 11, 2009 | Reply

    oops I forgot: :) !

  10. Oludare Obalola Adelusi | Nov 12, 2009 | Reply

    Good article Sister! Everything is well stated.
    I personally have a problem with the way we make jest of people who`re not fluent in English. But we see those who can not speak or understand their Mother Tongue as been cute. Like i always tell people, English is just a Language like Hausa, Yoruba or Swahili and having a good understanding of it has nothing to do with been smart or intelligent.An average German understands English but they`ll choose not to speak English because they don`t need it. More than half of the Arab world was colonized by the British but how many Arab nation kept English as their National language? of course none! May be we need to learn from them.

  11. Ayodeji | Nov 12, 2009 | Reply

    Interesting read. Not a shocking revealation though.

    I have always noticed this inferior complex about anything African passed down from generations to the next . The only way forward is to create a stronger awareness campaign in schools , communities and media underscoring the importance of our African Identity.

    Remember when we where kids you would never have thought of going on holiday to Botswana or Senegal. It was London , New York or Paris LOL

    I am convinced there is a way forward. Its as simple as creating an alternative image (options) e.g if your daughter wants a doll the chances are she would prefer a barbie doll. Why? its because she has already been shaped/influenced by her environment, school, media etc.
    ( media influence is not only about what is on tv, magazines its about what you watch or permit during the impressionable years ) . But if there was an alternative then she would need to make a choice based on the available options and influence ( influence could mean parental input).

    What do you wear to social functions? What do you eat? Do you know any great Africans .What good things do you have to say about Africa?

    I could go on ………….

    We have a great opportunity now with the Obama situation

  12. Christopher Ifejika | Nov 12, 2009 | Reply

    Misi, as usual, I will adopt a stand that tends toward being holistic. Firstly I am from Ndoni, an economically potential town in the Niger Delta with sons and daughters who have escelled in various indusctries and walks of life but outside Ndoni. Over the years these sons and daughters have become more fluent in Yoruba, Hausa, Ibo and other languages based on the various geographical areas they found themselves. An Ndoni child of an itenerant father, like me, who finds himself more in the company of maternal grandmothers and friends who speak other languages will need not evoke wonder over his language capacity. this is just an example out of many that represeent our present-day reality.
    What do you expect of people who had to leave their mother-land in search of greener pastures. Do you expect a Yoruba community of, say, 15,000 to impose the Yoruba language in a larger/host community of about 1,500,000? Our cultural identity sustenance is tied to so many factors of which economic stability and other realities.

    The political aspect of this discuss will only amount to a ditraction from the your main piece so I conclude by saying that conscious efforts have to be made along the lines of the above realities in order to redress the present drift towards the cultural extinction we are witnessing.

  13. Misi Coker | Nov 12, 2009 | Reply

    @Pamela, golliwog is not used in a derogatory manner but in descriptive one. A golliwog doll has an afro going. As I mentioned earlier I too am addicted to using the “creamy crack” and I didn’t say that I was not guilty of any of my observations in the article. However, I totally disagree with the assertion that the article is focused on “Africans hating themselves” – quite the opposite, in fact I would describe them as wanting to fit into the norm by all cost and attention seekers – that is not the same as hate.
    @Ajibola, do you agree that the average African is ebony, kinky haired & short nose? Even Ethiopians & Somalis have kinky hair – some are just more kinky than others. Also how can you say assertively to me that the average “full” African doesn’t fit that description? By “full” I mean no Western blood in their linage at all no matter how distant. Now tell me how you can prove that when the likelihood is that they themselves probably don’t know.
    @Oludare, great point. And I especially love your additional statement about people seeing those who don’t speak Yoruba as cute but yet we make fun of those who speak poor English. Is this a reflection of our colonized mentality?
    @Ayodeji – fab points – in fact it is true that when we were growing up the vacation spots were always London or America. Why was it? Could it be that it was because most of Africa was in disarray and our parents would rather not take us to a trouble spots? About the Barbie, nowadays there are black Barbies but they are obviously not as celebrated as the real Barbie. Identity is also a function of environment. All the same thanks for your points.
    @X-to, as usual you’ve managed to confuse me.

  14. Ajibola | Nov 12, 2009 | Reply

    Misi Coker, the burden of proof is on you, because you started out by saying “Most Africans who don’t fit that description are usually mixed race – trace their roots.” No, I cannot prove anything, but why do you think that most Africans have to look a certain way. I wonder what we all would say and observe if we could go back in time.

  15. Rade F | Nov 13, 2009 | Reply

    Nice to av u back. I avn’t read ur article but I think I av an idea of what u’re talking abt. I was on natural hair then later dreadlock sometime ago and some women had d audacity to tell me I wasn’t representing the women folk properly when two of them had abt four different colours of chinese weavon attached to dr hair. by the time I finished educating them, one of them secretly took the number of my stylist and the next time we were at the same gathering, two of them had it on. I am for Africa and no matter what anyone says, I am proud to show it in my looks but decency and moderation are my caution words. As for the language, it is a shame that am guilty as well, my children cant speak Yoruba well, I feel ashamed sometimes and I am taking steps to right this. Thanks

  16. Ajibola | Nov 13, 2009 | Reply

    Rade F, lots of people who came to America and who are still coming to America let their native languages go, because they really want their children to speak, read, and write English just like anyone else in this country. It’s pretty normal and has been happening for well over 100 years. So, don’t beat yourself down too much. Just get in their and make sure your kids learn Yoruba. They would feel so much better when they can speak and understand Yoruba. Yoruba is too beautiful to let go. (Note: I only chose the USA as my focus, because that’s where I live)

  17. Jenkins | Nov 13, 2009 | Reply

    Interesting reading. Another topic I been reflecting on is the increasing interracial relationships and marriages occuring among Africans and other races, particulary whites, is it a threat or part of the evolution? Should one be worried or not?
    //J

  18. Misi Coker | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    @Jenkins, you raised a valid issue. Personally, I do not see anything wrong in interracial marriages, because it doesn’t stop you from appreciating who you are or prevent you from educating your children about your culture. A person’s identity is very important and making a child confident in whom they are helps to rid themself of esteem issues later on. I have heard that interracial children often suffer from not knowing where they belong (whether the white community or black community), teaching them the African identity could be a way to rid them of that confusion.

  19. Misi Coker | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    @Ajibola, can you chime in on Jenkin’s point?

  20. Misi Coker | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    @Rade F, like Ajibola said you shouldn’t beat yourself up on this issue because you’re probably not the only one not teaching your child Yoruba in America. And I totally understand the thinking of a lot of parents; they want their children’s English to be flawless so the children are not made fun of by their peers for having an accent. What we do not realize is that children are often very good at languages and the best time to teach them to be bilingual is now, because the older they get the more difficult it becomes for them to learn.

  21. Ajibola | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    Misi Coker, I was trying to leave that one alone, because I really don’t see the benefit in hooking up with and having children with/by Europeans. I just don’t get it. I would never disrespect an interracial couple, but I usually find some serious issues between them. I was at the Nigerian Consulate in New York last year for a visa. I saw this man with a caucasian woman and they obviously had two children together. The man was just BEAUTIFUL, but the caucasian looked like a BEAST. Why do our brothers do this? I am not a supporter of interracialism, but I do know that love is love. If it is really love and respect, then go for it. But, both cultures should be given to the children!!!

  22. Ajibola | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    Misi Coker, you’ve started trouble!!! LOL!!! I got so carried away, I didn’t address Jenkins’ point at all. I will now address it…@JENKINS…It cannot be part of evolution, because Africans and Europeans are choosing to hook up. When you look at what Europeans (White Folks) have done to the world, then it is a resounding threat!!! History repeats itself as much as we allow it. After all the disrespect they’ve shown us throughout history (pre-colonialism, slavery, colonialism, so-called independence, up until the present, etc.), we should never allow them the pleasure of touching our bodies. Do business with them, be cordial, be friendly, but that’s it. We need to concentrate on treating our own properly and with respect and also learning NEVER to air our dirty laundry in the presence of Caucasians!!!

  23. pammy | Nov 14, 2009 | Reply

    Na una sabi!

    Pammy completely supports interracial marriages and relationships. Both sides can teach their kids their culture.

  24. Jenkins | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply

    @Ajibola. I partly agree with you. In some African countries, there are people who would never allow for instance their children to marry another woman from another tribe or so. In my village in Uganda, it is even unthinkable of a protestant marrying a catholic which shows that before we start judging others, we should perhaps look at ourseleves first. I agree that the white man has done and continue to do terrible things to black people. But should we judge the entire white race for that? There are genuine white people who love African and African culture as there are black people who have love for other cultures as well.But if the people fall in love and its for real, then i see no problem blacks and whites intermarriaging. But the problem as Misi Coker put it comes with identity. The challange is to teach the children the history and give them a strong African identity(seen from a perspective if the father is African). Of course the other culture is important as well but its even more important to give them a strong African identity.

  25. Ajibola | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply

    Hi, Jenkins. Habari gani? Yes, the identity issue is key. As long as masses of people throughout the world believe that ‘white is right’, we would do better staying away from interethnic relationships. I really must say the race and racism really don’t make sense at all since we are all the human race. Ethnicity and ethnic hatred are much more appropriate. As long as the majority of European/white folks buy into believing that they are ’superior’, I would NEVER agree to dealing with them on anything more than a platonic level. Even the caucasians who appear to have interest in our various cultures often have some deep-seated ulterior motive. Just live a little and you might be surprised. Just because someone expresses interest in you and/or your culture(s) does not mean that you have to have sex and/or children with them.

  26. Ajibola | Nov 17, 2009 | Reply

    @All of Y’all…LOL…At one point in my life I thought that if love ruled it wouldn’t matter who I married or who anyone else married. Well, having lived life for a while (and this is only my experience), I have come to realize that all marriages have issues. However, I’d rather have issues with someone who does NOT represent The African Diaspora’s historic and present enemy. We do enough bad things to each other, but caucasians have it engrained in them, no matter how diplomatically they present, that we are their servants. Watch them wherever you go in the world. Shame on all people of color who are brainwashed into thinking that Europeans love them. Yes, they love your sexual tools, but they could care less about you when the sex ends.

  27. Misi Coker | Nov 18, 2009 | Reply

    @Ajibola, you’ve opened a can of worms with you last comment, LOL! I’d promised to stop questioning you on these issues but I just can’t keep my mouth shut. Your comment is evidence of a person deeply scarred by some white folks and has used that as a yard stick to judge all others in that race. If you weren’t responding to my comments in real time, I would have sworn you were directly affected by the injustice faced by African-Americans prior to the Civil Rights movement. Your comments are very strong and I believe that they are unfair. We scream racism at the slightest thing, but we forget that the word racism can run both ways. Your open dislike for Caucasians can be labeled as such and I would like to believe that you do not intend that. I know a few mixed couples who are happily married and leave happily in Nigeria. In fact some white women have remained in Nigeria even after they have divorced their Nigerian husband. Can you still accuse you accuse these white people as been in it for something? I do not think that treating each individual person fairly until proven otherwise is being necessarily brainwashed, it is the proper way to behave. Judging and treating people based on their color is ludicrous is not in tune with the concept of all of us being one citizen. Anyway, if were judged like that then we, Nigerians, will get the worse end of stick, because most people see us as 419ers, loud and aggressive. How would you feel if someone disliked you based on those attributes without even bothering to get to know you first? Racism breeds unwarranted hatred! On a lightier note, I am sure you said all that to start an argument, LOL!

  28. Ajibola | Nov 19, 2009 | Reply

    Misi, I don’t think I’ve opened a can of worms…I just think you might not be ready to deal with this topic head on. Firstly, you must remember that I stated that this was my experience. I’m only one person whom, by the way, you’ve assumed is Nigerian. THE WORLD HAS BEEN DEEPLY SCARRED BY WHITE FOLKS (you said ‘flocks’…lol..same difference)!!! I’m not using any yardstick to measure anything. I’m using almost two decades of personal experience plus others’ experiences with them and everytime I look around my environment and travel to different places in the world, like Nigeria, I am reminded what Europeans have done to the world and its people. And, the Civil Rights Movement (Ose Baba for it) did not end everything at once. And, yes, I was directly affected by it prior and post. We all in America are still met with the aftermath of slavery, institutional racism, xenophobia, ethnic hatred, etc. I’m actually not an angry person most of the time. I’m just quite realistic.

  29. Ajibola | Nov 19, 2009 | Reply

    Misi, should I worship the Devil because he’s not bothering me so much now? Should I sleep with and procreate with Europeans/Caucasians/White Folks because some of them ‘act’ a bit more decently now? I DON’T THINK SO!!! Have you ever read “The Ways of White Folks”? It’s really interesting…

  30. ifeoma | Nov 21, 2009 | Reply

    i do agree with you on your observations. the african culture is taking a back seat due to western influence. it is something that can be remedied by developing our tourism industry for example. when tourists appreciate our sites and momentos, we might re-discover how to value our culture and strive harder to preserve it. our skin is what makes us unique – be it light brown or chocolate brown. east, west and south africans, we are beautifully brown and should flee from any influence that might make us believe otherwise. medical conditions aside, bleaching for vain reasons is so not it. i personally percieve it as an outward expression of inner feelings of inadequacy.

  31. pammy | Nov 21, 2009 | Reply

    Aji: Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, personally when I hear black people make comments such as that, I often see it as they projecting their thoughts on a group of people. I repeat, I completely as in 100 percent support interracial relationships and marriages. People should stop using children as an excuse as to why those kinds of relationships should not occur. There are many children growing up in these kinds of home who have learnt to be more open minded because they’ve learnt to see things from several lenses but of course, we won’t tell those children’s stories rather we chose to focus on the mishaps.

    Ifeoma: my main problem with Misi’s comment is that Misi is making the assumption that only one shade is African and that is dark black as in Ebony. I have come across thinking like that and I find it to be quite wrong. Biology tells us that the amount of melanin you have determines if you will be a certain color or not. Beyond that, historically, when the colonizers went to certain regions of Nigeria, they described their women as having a different look. I wish I could remember the book I read that in but I know it was a transcript of an original account. I think that we should understand that the fact that a certain look or thing is accepted does not mean that is all there is.

    No, I do not support bleaching not really because of the whole concept of projecting inadequacies rather because those who bleach stand a greater chance of getting skin cancer.

  32. Ajibola | Nov 21, 2009 | Reply

    Pammy,

    That’s exactly what I’ve given, my own opinion. I think this is a great forum. I don’t usually expect anyone to agree with me, and no one should expect me to always agree with them. What’s so great about this forum is that everyone has maintained respect. That’s what it’s all about.

    Although I cannot say that I support or encourage inter-ethnic (remember, there is only one race, i.e., the human race) relationships, especially between Africans and Europeans, I would never disrespect anyone who decided to make that move. But, if you ask my opinion or create a forum for my opinion, then I will give it. And, for the record, my thing against such unions has nothing to do with children, it has to do with history.

    Lastly, bleaching makes ‘us’ look ugly. It actually disfigures the skin and shows all of the blemishes, etc. Plus, why is it that people who bleach their skin seem to have really big, dark lips? LOL!!! Of course the bleaching causes an unnatural contrast. Na wa oooo!!!

  33. Ajibola | Nov 21, 2009 | Reply

    Pammy,

    I forgot to say that all of your points are well-taken and, in my humble opinion, valid. I must congratulate you on the way you handled Misi Coker with your response(s) to Ifeoma. Brava!!!

  34. Ajibola | Nov 21, 2009 | Reply

    Misi,

    Thanks for posting this article. It has made me think more. I just realized today that you’re the one who posted this. It’s a great round-table discussion piece. I wish we all could discuss this in person. I’d be the first at the table.

  35. pammy | Nov 22, 2009 | Reply

    :-)

  36. Misi | Nov 22, 2009 | Reply

    @Ajibola, thank you for the compliment – much appreciated. @Pamela, I am going to keep quiet because I don’t want to sound like a stuck record player, lol!

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