In Search of a Nigerian Illustrator.

Diary of a Mad Yoruba Woman. Episode 1: In search of a Nigerian illustrator. By Yasantewa.

I have become a writer. Note the “I have become”. This is because I am not a writer. I decided to start a series of children’s books - books that are interesting and full of “Naijanese” so the kids will be able to relate to it and want to read more. Now I was brought up on the maxim: Anything worth doing at all is worth doing well.” So you can understand that I am such a perfectionist, it is irritating.

So as I was not a writer, I embarked on a search for a professional writer to do the stories. That is a story for another day. Let me just say, I have surely written the first story in the series by myself. Told myself this first one does not have to be perfect, as long as it is good, it will do. Tested it on the kids in my neighbourhood and they actually wanted more so I guess it may not be too bad after all. So problem 1 solved.

Now onto the next problem: The search for a good Naija illustrator. After my search for a writer, I was not keen to start another one for an illustrator. (I can’t draw to save my life) but well it had to be done. I was going to get a foreign illustrator straight away as I dealt with them before and know how professional they can be. But how do I start to explain what it means to be a Nigerian to some Oyinbo (white man) that has never even heard of Nigeria before? So I embarked on another journey to find a Naija illustrator.

Everything in Naija is a journey. Make no mistake about it except you don’t want to do anything worthwhile. It is our “taboo” to be straightforward. You can’t just wake up and decide you want to go to Lekki from the mainland to see your friend. You have to plot, plan, get information about road situation, road building, VIP movement, Redeemed Camp dates, and other such like camp/convention dates, make sure no tanker driver’s strike (if you don’t have fuel in your car) and then still be prepared to sit in traffic for at least 2 hours on a very good day and not to forget to call your friend consistently throughout the journey in case he gets tired of waiting for you and is stuck in the same traffic on his way to you. Okay, okay, maybe things are not that bad, but sometimes it feels like it is worse.

Mr. A: So I call my friends who should know illustrators. One thing I can’t get past is our delight in displaying our ignorance especially on subjects we should know everything about. My first call was to an artist friend that works in an advertising agency. They employ the bulk of artist/graphic artist and they should know the industry or so I thought.

He cheerfully and proudly informed me that he does not know any good artist and that their better and more professional jobs are done abroad. Asked him where this” Abroad” is, just to be sure, “Oh, in SA or Kenya. I am informed. SA as in South Africa???!! Kenya as in East Africa???? I refuse to start a discussion on that so I will let it pass. All the ones in his company are not up to par or too busy with their non-professional stuff (see above for professional jobs) so he cannot recommend anybody as of now.

I politely thank him, keep a tight reign on my tongue and ask him if he knows any freelance artists. He does not even pretend to think, he tells me that those ones are really very exclusive and work for only the big Advert agencies or only take up commissions from large corporate organizations like….named some banks, Telco etc. I said okay, he should please just give me a number and a name so I can see if this person is able to take on my job. See I am already begging and I have not reached illustrator yet. Anyway, long story short, he gives me the number. I shall not go into the conversation here but eventually I make an appointment to see this extremely busy individual in his studio. I try to explain what I need done. From his questions, he has obviously not done anything like that before and does not even understand my requirements. So after much talk, he goes that his bill will be about $20,000. I say hmm, hmm. Thank you o but I don’t have that kind of money right now for just the illustration. So I wish him good luck and continue my search.

Mr. B: Called another friend who has told me about the work of this amazing young individual. He said Ah yes, he will talk to this person for me and get back to me. I tell him he should just give me this person’s number now and I will find the person myself so I do not trouble him. He says he will talk to this person and get back to me. Well this is like 2 months ago and I am still waiting for him to get back to me. I send SMS when I get tired of calling and still don’t get a reply.

Mr. C is a maverick and apparently a lunatic. Another friend does business with him but on broaching the subject with my friend,

“Ah Temi, I can’t give you his number o. He is currently very busy and he will be upset that someone else is coming to burden (yes burden) him with more work. And more importantly, he will be upset that I was the one that gave you his number and won’t finish my work, so sorry I can’t give you his number” You know how erratic he can be. But let me discuss with him.

Anyway, this is two months down the line and he is still discussing with him.

Mr. D’s number was actually no problem. The contact was only too happy to give it to me and assured me the guy was cool. So I call. He was actually quite pleasant. He was very busy that week. Could we meet the next Wednesday pls? Oh no problem. Knowing my people, I called him on Monday to remind him about appointment. He says no problem, Wednesday. On Wednesday at noon, he calls me and tells me that actually he won’t be able to do my work. He does not have the tools and does not currently own a PC so he will find another of his friend who has the tools and who can do the work and give me the guy’s phone number. Well this was three weeks ago. Still waiting for this wonderful number.

Even writing all this depresses me. I am tired already and still have about 7 more Mr. to tell you about. Next week, as a last resort, I face Yaba Tech again. That was my first point of call about two years ago when I needed an artist for another project. Suffice to say at the end of the day, I had to abandon that project. This one I shan’t abandon. Wonderfully, miraculously, there is the WORLDWIDE WEB, filled with wonderful, lovely artists willing and ABLE to work with me. I shall happily and patiently try and explain the wonderful mysteries of being a Nigerian to them…