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Is “Please” Or “Thank you” In Our Vocabulary?
Posted by: Misi Coker on September 13, 2007 Under: Africa, Discussion Lounge, Life & Culture, Nigeria, People
Muti This
At last, the flight was ready for boarding. The attendant called out seat numbers so passengers could board the plane. As soon as my seat was called I rose and struggled with my many hand-luggages towards the plane. It had been a long check-in process and all I wanted to do was find somewhere to rest my head. As I entered the plane, I saw the usual hustle and bustle of Nigerians trying to force their oversized hand-luggages into the minute overhead compartment. The hostesses were standing at alert ready to assist these travelers with putting away their belongings. I noticed that with all the people they helped not a single person turned around to say “thank you”. As we settled in our seat, I heard the voice of a man calling out to the hostess. “Excuse me, excuse me,” he said. At once I recognized his accent and knew instantly he was a true Yoruba man. Since Nigerians are blessed with loud voices it didn’t take much effort to overhear his commands to the hostess. “Give me a Coke”, he said failing to attach a “please” to the end of his demand. The hostess faithfully walked to the kitchen and reappeared with a cup of Coke on ice. “I want the whole can, this cup is not enough for me”, he said again in his dictator voice with NO “pleases” or “thank you” for the one the hostess brought already….
Is it only me or do you also despise the way some Nigerians talk to people who provide services to them, or people who are “lower” than them? I for sure get really embarrassed, when I hear the way Nigerians speak or should I call it yell at customer services rep.
Even though these service people are being paid to do their jobs, saying “please” or “thank you” after receiving the service goes a long way. The fact that we are paying for the service does not give us the right or audacity to talk to them like they are less than human. Anyway affixing “pleases” or “thank yous” only makes you a better person and some times helps you win the heart of the person you are seeking their attention. So why do my people find it so difficult to do? Is it because we are proud people?
All over the world it is sad to learn that foreign customer service reps refer to us as rude and ill-mannered. Just the other day a customer service rep couldn’t believe it when I told her I was Nigerian, she seemed so shocked. Curiosity forced me to ask her why was she so dazed, what she told me stunned me. She said she has come in contact with many Nigerians in her 14 years of service and as far as she was concerned Nigerians are very rude and arrogant people. In fact she can count the number of Nigerians that have ever said “pleases or thank yous” to her with one hand. I was saddened by this portrayal of my people.
Despite the way other countries see us, I know Nigerians are good people but some of us have failed to show the goodness in us. Remembering to say the occasional “pleases” or “thank yous” doesn’t really take anything away from us but rather enhances our image. And as Nigerians God knows we need that good aura more now than ever.
O | Sep 13, 2007 | Reply
LOL!!!!
Pammy | Sep 13, 2007 | Reply
I really don’t think this is a problem of our generation. But i know we will like to blame this on the Nigerians, unfortunately, i have seen such from other groups.
Omotaylor | Sep 14, 2007 | Reply
Misi, your last paragraph does sum up the whole issue. Please and thank you is definitely in the Nigerian dictionary, in all languages. Parents should bring up their children impressing on them the need to be polite. The problem is that some people, Nigerians and others are personally uncouth, arrogant and self ego’d. These people when they are in the majority in any given situation do present a very unsavoury picture. Just like you it makes my skin crawl when I hear them bawling out orders and doing the “owo mi lo pa” - na my money kill am, business. it is more evident with men who are used to commanding their spouses and children and “servants”. But them it shows them up because they look and sound despicable. Saying PLEASE AND THANK YOU gives you character and shows good breed. So PLEASE say so always. THANK YOU everyone.
Maria | Sep 14, 2007 | Reply
I think this is a problem with Africans and black people overall. My immediate thought after reading the article, was….colonial and slave mentality. I truly believe that we do this as a way to show off that we are somebody!!! I think we as black people overall have observed over the years how colonial masters treated our people and as our own people gained independence and started gaining ranks themselves..they immediately started mimicking the colonial behaviour, thinking that this was “development”. Look at how the average african treats their house girl. How often do we hear our people thanking the people who raise, bath, feed etc etc their children?
If we cannot thank our own house help…is it surprising that a stewardess is mistreated!!!
It is high time for we africans to stop condoning such behaviour..how…each one of us starts saying please and thank you…especially people who are in highly visible positions and are looked up to by the african community.
Omotaylor | Sep 15, 2007 | Reply
Good post Maria. There are many ways we can say please and thank you. The last time I was in Nigeria, my sister’s househelp’s hair was a mess. I told her to go wash it so i could braid it. The poor girl almost had a fit at this suggestion of normal kindness and when I did she was beaming with hapiness while some others told me they could not believe I could touch a maid’s hair! This is Lagos for you. Is she not human? Who knows where our children will land in the future? The girl found a phone to call me in London just to say thanks. Didnt she make my day as well? So GET OF YOUR HIGH HORSES, ALL YE ARROGANT ONES. Every human being deserves respect, regardless.
Misi | Sep 15, 2007 | Reply
Well said Maria, your explanation makes sense and it is the missing piece of the jigsaw. It explains (but not excuse) the reason for such despicable behavior some of my people exhibit.
Ms Omo-T, now you are talking…the way our people treat house helps etc is downright appalling. And I believe this behavior is the same trait displayed by our leaders that’s why they have a blatant disregard for human lives and the livelihood of their subjects. They nurture the attitude that since I am their leader (or master) I can treat them how I like. Very very sad!