13 comment(s)

1. Omotaylor | Dec 12, 2009 | Reply

   Misi, the answer may not be as direct as we would want to think. Cheating starts from the intention which is from the inside. If a man or woman talks to the opposite sex with the intention of it ending in an affair or should we simply say SEX, then right from there it is cheating. Read what Jesus had to say about this in Matthew 5:27-28:

   27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

   So cheating starts all the way from having the intention to carrying out the act.

   So we all including me need to beg for forgiveness for even wanting that person in our heart even if we end up not doing it… serious.

2. Ajibola | Dec 12, 2009 | Reply

   Praise the Lord, EVERYBODY!!! The BIBLE still clears things up no matter how old it is!!! Thanks, Omotaylor.

   We must remember that the Bible is for believers. On a more worldly note, we all know that general consensus states that cheating is made reality by the act of sex (oral, anal, kissing, feeling up, whatever kind of contact!!!).

3. Misi Coker | Dec 12, 2009 | Reply

   @Ms.Omo-T, I think it takes more than “intention to act” to be cheating, otherwise a lot of people will be guilty of cheating. How do we determine an intention to act?
   @Ajibola, you don’t think that watching pornography, sexting or cybersex is cheating?

4. Akeem | Dec 13, 2009 | Reply

   There are no two standards, whether or not you are a believer. Omotayor’s exposition of what constitutes cheating, on the basis of the scriptures, is ever true. Unless it involves rape, it is hardly feasible that an ‘act’ will occur without a prior intention. And you will agree with me that rape cannot be regarded as cheating.

5. Ajibola | Dec 13, 2009 | Reply

   Misi Coker, watching pornography, sexting (what is that?), cybersex, etc., don’t necessarily have to be cheating if a married couple are doing it together. But, under normal circumstances, if each is doing it behind the other’s back, then cheating it is. However, would it be simply cheating if you find out your spouse has been doing this kind of stuff years before he/she met and married you? Or if you found out that, as a child, your spouse had been exposed to and/or forced to watch pornography, etc? It’s really not cut and dry.

6. Ajibola | Dec 13, 2009 | Reply

   Akeem, we who are the redeemed of the Lord know that the Word of God is true, but it was written for believers. Why would you even include rape in this?!!! If the rapist is married, then committing rape is also a form of cheating…However, the person who gets raped should never be in the same sentence as someone who cheats.

7. Ikongbe | Dec 14, 2009 | Reply

   Misi,i think cheating becomes cheating when truth is far from been done and false action already taken.

8. Misi Coker | Dec 14, 2009 | Reply

   @Ajibola, where did you come up with your logic in response to Akeem’s rapist theory? If you really think about it you’ve managed to work your argument in agreement with Ms.Omo-T’s assertion that cheating is intent to act. I say that because you said that if the rapist is married then he has cheated by committing the rape, but the victim did not cheat. In summary you are saying that the rapist had intent to rape and cheat and has cheated, while the victim didn’t have intent to be raped and cheat on spouse therefore that victim has not cheated. That sounds more like Ms. Omo-T’s biblically argument that cheating is “intent to act” which you rejected. Sexting – is sex texting.
   @Ms. Omo-T, you’ve not addressed my question that “does mere intention to act suffice as cheating? What if the intention is never carried out, is that still cheating?
   @Akeem, I pose the same question to you – does mere intention to act suffice as cheating? What if the intention is never carried out, is that still cheating?
   @Ikongbe, very deep.

9. Omotaylor | Dec 14, 2009 | Reply

   I thought I did Misi, for I wove both the act of sinning and cheating together in my last two sentences. Cheating even if not carried out could be the intent when thinking of something. E.g. I love RMD and Desmond Elliott. When does this type of love transpose into cheating? When if for example a married woman lusts after a married man and wants to go all the way. Even if the married man says no, in the end, the woman would have cheated at heart for what she was hoping for is no longer pure and if given the chance the act would have been committed. I did say that cheating STARTS with the intent, I did not say the intent alone equates cheating. But the intent for the believer = sin. If not carried out it is not cheating per se but still cheating for if given the chance it would have been carried out. Am I allowed now to rest my case?
   Peace my sister.

10. Misi | Dec 14, 2009 | Reply

    @Ms.Omo-T – I’ll think about it.

11. Bunni | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply

    I agree with Ms. OmoT that the bible clearly defines what cheating is. However, using that definition most of us have probably cheated. Question on this though: Does this then only apply to married couples.

    In Bunmi’s world – cheating is acting out or feeding that desire to have someone else other than your spouse. Not necessarily having sex – but even encouraging friendship or even cnversations when one already knows that the desire to have this other person exists. So, to me – just because I think this guy is cute, and think for one second what it might be like to mess around with him.. it’s just not cheating just human, as long as I put on my running shoes and sprint. But if I now continue to encourage a friendship or some sort of relationship, now I know that I’m looking for trouble..and His grace might not be sufficient.

    Finally, I’m not of the opinion that pornography (watching or reading)is cheating… I think that’s just a totally different issue.

12. Ajibola | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply

    @Bunni…ba wo ni oooo? Shouldn’t cheating be determined by the couple whether they’re legally married or not? Fidelity is fidelity; infidelity is infidelity. If a couple, whether married or unmarried, determine that their relationship is exclusive and they they’re committed to each other, then if each of them has sex outside that agreement, it’s cheating!!!

13. Omotaylor | Jan 7, 2010 | Reply

    @Bunmi, maybe, just maybe Cheating and pornography are not exclusively different. Why? Both done to fulfil a LUST. Pornography can even be a catalyst to cheating and other evil intents.

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